Synopsis: Forget your troubles and swing into action with the beautiful pom pom girls in this fast-paced story about high school seniors enjoying a final fling before graduation. The carefree and scandalous antics of these kids indulging themselves before they enter adulthood is pure spontaneous fun. Will the handsome womanizer Jesse win over radiant pom pom girl Laurie? Will the kids’ crazy antics get them in trouble? Will the delectable pom pom girls get their kicks? It’s a classic youth-gone-wild pleasurefest.

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The Pom Pom Girls 5.75

eyeslights: the pretty girls.
eyesores: its lack of plot. its poor editing.

“Ah, Duane, tell me… is that crease down the middle of your face, is that your asshole?”

Funny… I thought that teen sex comedies were supposed to have sex and comedy in them. So why is it that ‘The Pom Pom Girls’ has neither? I mean, I know you shouldn’t expect much plot in teen comedies, but at least it has dumb fun, right?

Well, so much for that.

‘The Pom Pom Girls’ is as bereft of fun as it is of purpose: watch Johnnie and Jesse drive around mackin’ on chicks and taunting rivals. Watch them get the girls they want early on and lose all meaning to their already meaningless lives.

So, instead, watch them steal a firetruck and then go hose down their football rivals. Or play a game against them – but, instead of actually playing, starting a fight on the field. And one in the stands. And one between the cheerleaders.

And what about the cheerleaders, after whom the picture is named? Well, we see them practice on the beach, in bikinis. We watch them hold the lamest trials known to airheaddom. But they’re actually second-class citizens in their own movie.

This movie’s about the dumb jocks.

$#!t… this fails even as a slice-of-life movie, as it’s not realistic. And the characters are so bereft of soul that we don’t care about them and learn nothing. At least a movie like ‘American Graffiti‘ had deep and/or touching dialogues.

Here, there’s nothing.

Nothing.

Really, all the guys do is pester their rivals for no reason, leading to a remarkably unfunny condiment duel in the cafeteria and a game of suicide chicken that had no reason for existing other than to add a little artificial drama.

I mean, why did Johnnie agree to it, despite the pleas of his friends? He already had the girl! He’d already won! And while we’re at it, why did Jesse punch his coach? What in the world led to that? It just doesn’t make any sense at all.

The performances are equal to the task: the kids aren’t great thespians but all they needed to do was to show up, say a few crappy lines and then act a bit goofy. Even then they manage not to draw any interest whatsoever. Most. Boring. Kids. Ever.

Well, at least the girls are pretty.

I mean, I’ve seen worse teen comedies, but they’re usually the ones that try and instead shoot themselves in the foot. ‘The Pom Pom Girls’ doesn’t even bother. It just cares about filling up 80 minutes of screentime with kids goofing around.

On that count, I guess, it succeeds.

Story: 3.0
Acting: 6.5
Production: 6.5

Nudity: 1.5
Sexiness: 2.0
Explicitness: 1.0

Date of viewing: February 4+5, 2017