Une vierge chez les morts vivants

Synopsis: After losing her mother at an early age and being raised at a boarding school, Cristina Reiner is notified of her father’s death and summoned to Monserrat Mansion for the reading of his will. Other members of her strange, accursed family are found there awaiting the imminent demise of Cristina’s ailing stepmother. When Death finally visits the castle in the person of an elegantly attired Queen of Darkness, Cristina is approached by the ghost of her father, who advises her to flee the castle and her cold-skinned, bloodthirsty relatives. But is it already too late? Has she already lost touch with reality? Learn the answers, if you dare, in this legendary cult classic from Jess Franco!
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Une vierge chez les morts vivants 2.5

Wow… I never thought that I’d ever see a movie completely made from out-takes!

This stink-nugget was made by Jess Franco, European exploitation director extraordinaire. I’m not a big fan of his at all, as this is the third film of his that I’ve seen and none of them are worth mentioning except for one: ‘Vampyros lesbos’ – and only because of its soundtrack, which has become a real cult classic.

In fact, I only became aware of this film and its director because a friend once gave me the soundtrack – and it actually is enjoyable. So I decided to seek out the movie and discover it for myself – despite the embarrasing title. It was alright, but I would never recommend it.

Unlike ‘…chez les morts vivants”, at least the other two films that I’ve seen had vampires in them. Vampires are better suited for titilation than the living dead, considering that vampirism has long been used in Hollywood as a metaphor for lust. It’s a better mix, I think.

Either way, this movie is a real mess. Did they even have a screenwriter? Or did they make it up as they went along? And how could they make a bad zombie movie, anyway? This was made a couple of years after ‘Night of the Living Dead’ – and being the blueprint for intelligent, well-crafted zombie movies, there’s no reason for bad ones anymore.

Well, this one’s not just a bad zombie movie, but just a flat out bad movie – the only reason it rates a tad higher than ‘The Ugly Truth’ (currently my second worst movie of the year!) is that at least it didn’t insult my intelligence.

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