Synopsis: In this laugh-out-loud final installment of the ‘Porky’s’ adventures, the sexually frustrated boys and girls of Angel Beach High struggle with the school administration and their own raging hormones. Since the original “Porky’s” club has been demolished, the gang has successfully stayed out of Porky’s way. But all that changes when Porky threatens their basketball coach, insisting the team throw the championship game. Now it’s an all-out war as the “Dirty Half Dozen” pit themselves against Porky in a battle that leads to an outrageous confrontation of hilarious proportions!

***********************************************************************

Porky’s Revenge 6.25

eyelights: its PYTs. its soundtrack.
eyesores: its many plot contrivances.

“Mr. Carter, I will not stand here and be accused of having a boner!”

Despite ‘Porky’s II: The Next Day‘s stumble at the box office, producers were hungry for another ‘Porky’s‘. At over 100 million in 1981 dollars, ‘Porky’s’ was a stunning success – and they wanted more of that. Bob Clark was too busy to return so they hired a director and a writer who were primarily known for their television work.

To ensure that audiences would return to the cinema to see the second installment in the series, they decided to bring Porky (the film’s namesake and our protagonists’ main nemesis) back. This time they had the kids from Angel High try to help their basketball coach out of his gambling debts to Porky, who’s now back in business.

Naturally, not everything goes according to plan and they end up being coerced by Porky into throwing the game at the State Championship – the first time their school has made the final in decades. To further complicate matters, Meat is being retained due to poor grades in his biology class. And Ms. Balbricker is still after them.

‘Porky’s Revenge’ is more akin to the original than the first sequel was, but it lacks the naive charm and the depth of its progenitor: gone is the social commentary that made ‘Porky’s’ mildly compelling (and which totally overran ‘Porky’s II’), with its focus now being the gags and the nudity. It’s basically one’s average teen sex comedy.

But with Porky in it.

I liked the way that they reinstated Porky. While the whole coach thing is pure contrivance, I liked that when the boys go out to see Porky they find his joint in ruins, untouched since they ransacked it back in the first picture. Instead, Porky now runs his illegal gambling and stripping business from a riverboat, complete with Porky’s signage.

To me, it seemed more realistic and in character for Porky. Why waste time and money rebuilding, right?

I didn’t like much of what revolved around this scene, however, because it meant that Meat becomes the apple of Porky’s daughter’s eye, setting up a finale in which Porky tries to force him to marry his little Blossom and the gang has to try to rescue the big galoot. Urgh. It devolved into something akin to a ‘Police Academy‘ sequel.

And that’s part of the problem with ‘Porky’s Revenge’: it tries too hard to be everything to everyone, jamming all sorts of bits together in the hope that it will stick. It barely does, but it doesn’t feel organic – it feels more like connect-the-dots.

Case-in-point:

Exhibit A
Ms. Balbricker catches the gang watching a stag film on school property with school equipment .

V
The gang is on the edge of being expelled, but Billy convinces the Principal that it’s an artsy Swedish film.

V
The Principal insists on seeing the film for himself and, after much stalling by the gang, he does.

V
Wendy discovers that Ms. Ballbricker had a high school sweetheart and she reunites them.

V
The Principal is about to expel the gang for watching filth, but Ms. Ballbricker is suddenly no longer a prude.

V
The gang gets off Scott free.

Exhibit B
Meat is somehow ill at the sight of his biology class experiment. He accidentally flips a frog into his professor’s cleavage.

V
In retaliation, the teacher decides to fail Meat at all costs. If he fails, he won’t be able to play basketball.

V
The team needs Meat to win the game, so they break into the teacher’s home to get the answers to the exam.

V
While there, the team find the teacher getting into some kinky role-playing and sex with another teacher.

V
Coincidentally enough, Pee Wee’s grandmother happens to live right across the way to the teacher apartment.

V
The guys arrange to have dinner at the grandmother’s place so that they can take incriminating pictures of the teacher.

V
They proceed to blackmail the teacher into letting Meat pass.

Phew! It feels like the filmmakers used a shoehorn to jam these pieces together!

But the picture did have a few highlights, such as the pool scene, in which the team’s cheerleaders agree to an orgy if the boys win the game and make the State Championship – but have instead planned to play a prank on them. The sight of those lovely girls in their skivvies and the way the guys damned their dignity to leave the pool was fun.

It also boasts the series’ best soundtrack – by far. Somehow, the filmmakers got Dave Edmunds to produce an album of period classics performed by contemporary artists, such as Jeff Beck, George Harrison, Robert Plant with Phil Collins, and Willie Nelson. It’s such a good collection that I bought that CD years before I even saw the picture.

Otherwise, though, ‘Porky’s Revenge’ is nothing to write home about. It’s a fitting conclusion to the series (the film made even less money than its predecessor, and the producers consequently pulled the plug), but, given the quality of the lot and of teen comedies at the time, that’s obviously not saying much. It’s okay, but forgettable.

Ahem… much like the whole series, really.

Story: 6.0
Acting: 6.5
Production: 6.5

Nudity: 2.5
Sexiness: 2.0
Explicitness: 2.0

Dates of viewings: May 18+19, 2016