Midnight Blue: Freaks and Geeks

Midnight Blue 4Synopsis: SMUTTY, SLEAZY, AND SCANDALOUS – And Those Are Just Its Good Points!

MIDNIGHT BLUE shocked and fascinated viewers with its searing political commentary, candid celebrity interviews, and graphic sexuality featuring some of the biggest names in pornography. However, it also featured the freakiest freaks, gruesomest geeks and sleaziest sexual deviants ever seen on late-night cable:

Spermathon, The Cat House for Dogs, Swing Clubs, Sadists and Masochists, Subs and Doms, The Full Monty… plus a guide to sex positions for every day of the year, a XXX-rated Christmas pageant, a well-endowed contortionist, erotic body piercing and terrifying tattoos, and more nudists and transsexuals than you can shake a stick at, as well as vintage ads for sex clubs, escort services, and brazen video personal ads from lonely viewers looking for love!

Midnight Blue: Freaks and Geeks 7.25

eyelights: the variety of segments and advertisements.
eyesores: the lengthy BDSM segments.

Over the course of nearly 30 years, Al Goldstein’s ‘Midnight Blue‘ saw its fair share of quirky, unusual and just plain odd. It certainly never balked at exposing the underbelly of human sexuality. And, in volume 4 of the ‘Midnight Blue’ DVD collection, it collects some of its most notable and notorious moments for our viewing pleasure.

Or stupefaction.

Tara Alexander: In a follow-up from Volume 2 of the ‘Midnight Blue’ DVD collection, we get to watch Alexander’s attempt at a world record for having sex, going through 83 men in something like five hours. Held at Plato’s Retreat, the whole thing looks dingy: after her husband reads the rules, a series of men in white towels line up to… ahem… do their duty. Yeah… classy. Anyway, post-gang bang, there’s a small interview with Alexander. (And, b-t-w, if you think 83 men is a lot, Lisa Sparks had sex with 919 men over the course of 12 hours in 2004! WTF.)

Cat House for Dogs: Run by Joey Skraggs, who became a well-known prankster, this segment showed a so-called brothel for dogs, in which the dog owners would bring their pets to get them laid. It was a hoax, but it was very controversial.

Christmas Sex Act: A 14-year-married couple do public sex acts and discuss their upcoming Christmas-themed one – with footage from said act, of course.

Doctor Infinity: A black and white film shows a man giving himself oral sex. Ouch. My back hurts just at the thought of it.

The Human Contortionist: Some guy is interviewed with a leg behind his neck. Then he sings with both legs behind his head. Um… why?

Doug Johns: Johns is a sculptor who replicates genitalia in clay. He talks about his work and notes how very different every vulva is. Interestingly, future porn star Sharon Mitchell is his model for this bit.

Midnight Interlude: The owners of this swingers club are interviewed and footage from one of their gatherings is shown. It looks like quite the party. There’s also an interview with one of the swingers, as he’s getting head from a girl and being licked by another. So absurd.

Mistress Heidi: Steve Kraus, noted swinger, interviews Heidi at her Inner Circle Club before showing her in action – to the music from ‘Psycho‘. Seriously. It’s most unpleasant. And, to add to weirdness, the submissive has nipple rings so large you could hang small towels on them. OMG.

Mistress Roseanne: A shouty, forceful redhead defends her BDSM ways in the face of some fairly critical questions from the interviewer. Then they show her whipping her slave, after which he’s interviewed, wearing a mask. Yeah… I just don’t get it.

Nipple piercing: A submissive talks about and shows her nipple piercings, and the piercer talks about the appeal of the practice. Then they proceed to re-pierce her right nipple, which didn’t take the first time around. Good times had by all.

Jackie Parks on Fist Fucking: The show’s regular correspondent spends as much time suggesting that men want to fist women as revenge for female emancipation as she does talking about and showing fisting itself. She really seems down on women getting jobs and having their own lives. So weird.

Penis imprints: Watch Al Goldstein cheer and jeer Ron Jeremy on as he makes imprints of his penis on white paper with black ink.

Penis tattoo: Alex Bennett interviews Spider Webb, a tattoo artist who shows us his latest masterwork: a demon head on a guy’s abdomen, with its tongue spreading down his penis. They interview the guy and show the final touches being applied. Ouch ouch ouch. Even the guy says the pain level is 9.5 out of 10 – and yet he remains pretty calm throughout.

Screw 30th anniversary party: Watch Al Goldstein, Ron Jeremy, and four other overweight, middle-aged men prepare for and then perform their ‘The Full Monty” show on stage at Screw’s 30th anniversary bash. Um… awkward.

The Sophisticated Sex Maniac’s Diary: Alex Bennett interviews the publisher of a book called ‘The Sophisticated Sex Maniac’s Diary’ in a living room filled with other people. The book may have other things in it, but one of its key features is a sexual position for each day. So Alex Bennett picks out specific days and a couple acts out the various positions from memory. Uh… I suspect that they’ve read and practiced it a lot.

Sweet Pie: In this black and white bit, some naked hippy possibly named Sweet Pie is sitting at a piano and singing “Fuck ’em if They Can’t Take a Joke”. It’s become a golden standard since.

The Temple of Venus: An interview with its owner, who talks about this so-called Venusian Church, that mixes religion and sex. People can pay to come watch sexual touching and there’s just a general vibe of swinging. There are also interviews with some of the “religious performers”, one of which is a transsexual.

555-PUKE: A spoof phone sex ad for Repulsive Escorts, starring a morbidly obese Al Goldstein talking dirty. Well, I guess he didn’t take himself too seriously.

Al Goldstein “ad”: In which he provides details on how to complain about the quality of cable to the proper authorities.

Al Goldstein album spoof: Featuring Goldstein himself pretending to play the piano and listing all of his ridiculous “greatest hits”.

Al Goldstein eats ribs: To the sounds of the Midnight Blue Orchestra. It’s a spoof ad for a VHS tape of his best ribs eating.

Al Goldstein rant: An early one in which he comments on the gory violence in wrestling magazines, which is acceptable, versus the sex in porn mags, which is not.

Annie Sprinkle takes a bubble bath: And then a shark fin appears. She is attacked and there’s much screaming and fake blood.

Man in a yellow raincoat: The man, also wearing a rainhat and roller skates rambles incoherently and exposes himself in the middle of what appears to be Times Square. Not sure.

Advertisement highlights

970-DIRT: A phone sex line that sells its wares to a poor adult spoof of “Ghostbusters“, called “Nutbusters”. Woah, let me grab my credit card!

970-KATHY: A phone sex line featuring transsexuals, except that the people in the ad are clearly women. Weird.

Criminal lawyer: Yes, a criminal lawyer advertised on ‘Midnight Blue’. WTF.

Fighting Femmes: A newsletter about women wrestling on mats.

Fossilized dinosaur poop: No joke, this is what they claim to sell. What? No certificate of authenticity?

“Freak Out”: An adult board game. Looked cheap.

Joni’s Butterfly Vibrator: A vibrator that’s strapped on like a g-string.

Man-T-Hose: A sort of pantyhose for men that is essentially underwear with a hose for the penis. It claims to be a product test, so it’s just a gag.

Manhattan Alley: A TV show about rock music and arts in general? Really? Did they know what channel they were advertising on?

Midnight Blue Uncensored: A VHS tape of the show’s best moments – but uncut.

Original Discount Head Shop: A shop that sells drug paraphernalia, but insists it should not be used for drugs. What a laugh.

Paul and Jessica: A couple who offers intimate videotaping services for couples.

Puritan magazine: Two of them, one with tributes and another with naked lesbians making out.

Sunny Rest Lodge: A nudist camp that insists that they’re a “freedom resort”.

Although I was put off by much of its seedier content, I enjoyed the overall light mood of this particular volume. Given all the gag segments and advertisements, I got a few chuckles out of it. And it made up for the rest of the content to some degree. Still, I can’t help but wonder who would watch this stuff live on television.

It’s just not quality programming.

Story: n/a
Acting: n/a
Production: 4.0

Nudity: 7.0
Sexiness: 2.0
Explicitness: 4.0

Date of viewing: April 16, 2016

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