Synopsis: UFOs! Bigfoot! Communists! The government has swiftly dealt with many a crisis…But can it survive the diabolical Attack Of the Killer Tomatoes? Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the supermarket…you’re face-to-face with terror so bold-so frightening-it has never been seen on-screen before or since.

After a series of bizarre and increasingly horrific attacks, Mason Dixon finds himself leading a “crack” team of specialists to save the planet. But will they be quick enough to save everyone? To save you?

You can’t run! You can’t swim! There’s nowhere to hide! The vicious red menace is everywhere!

Savor the flavor of Attack Of the Killer Tomatoes, if you dare!

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Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! 6.0

 eyelights: the helicopter crash. the film’s DIY quality. the Army sequence.
eyesores: the soundtrack. the ineptitude of the filmmaking.

“We have to convince the little housewife out there that the tomato that ate the family pet is not dangerous!”

When I was in high school, there were two cult films that I kept hearing about ALL THE TIME: ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ and ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’. Neither of them appealed to me: the former was a kitschy musical, and the latter sounded moronic – all I could think of was: “A movie with killer tomatoes in it? Give me a frickin’ break!”.

I was vehemently opposed to seeing it. I hadn’t yet developed a taste for bad movies, so I didn’t really understand the appeal. It would take at least a decade before I even reconsidered my position (which wasn’t helped one bit by seeing its first sequel on VHS). Truth be told, I hadn’t seen enough monster movies by then – so its satire would have been lost on me, anyway.

Eventually I gave in. A special edition came out on DVD, in a fancy-pansy box and ripe with juicy special features. It took me months of deliberations, but I eventually just had to sink my teeth into it. I was surprised by how much of it I enjoyed; I had rediscovered my love of the Zucker/Zucker/Abraham spoof films by then. The latter, and watching it with a kooky buddy, likely helped.

‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ follows the line of ‘The Birds’ (which it references in its ridiculous intro), replacing birds with tomatoes. The premise is simple: For reasons unknown, tomatoes are suddenly attacking people. A nation-wide panic ensues, with government officials at a complete loss as to how to control this rapidly deteriorating situation.

Every other moment there is another lethal tomato attack. While his Press Secretary makes moot attempts to cover up the matter, the President of the United States tasks Mason Dixon to round up a team of agents to defeat the rampaging tomatoes. His picks: a master of disguise, a Navy Diver, an Olympic swimmer and a paratrooper.

The President also sends his Press Secretary out to hire an advertising agency to come up with an ad campaign, in the hope of winning the public relations battle, to dull the impact of the tomato onslaught. But little does he know that, between the agents and this agency, he’s just handed the fate of non-tomatodom to a bunch of incurable loonies.

‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’, was made with little money, financed in part by family members and friends, so it’s a very raw product: the camerawork is shoddy, the sets are poorly-designed (you need to see the President’s not-so-oval office to believe it!), the props and costumes are mega cheap (one scene required the extras to bring their own), and the special effects are anything but.

So what is the allure of this picture, then, one might ask? I suppose it’s two things: 1) its humour, and 2) its DIY attitude.

1) With respect to the humour, one can see how it might have stroked the funny bones of a certain crowd: its irreverent and zany, taking shots at everything and with no consideration for taste (it must be noted that, having been released in 1978, it’s absolutely not politically correct – there are racist and gay jokes that would perk up the ears of more modern crowds).

2) There’s always something appealing about the notion that someone actually made their own picture, and with little means. We’re so used to movie-making being a big studio endeavour that anything remotely ambitious but “home-made” is often impressive. And given the era in which it was made, it likely became notorious just by virtue of being one of the few.

Is it enough to make it a classic? I’m not so sure. Intellectually, I understand how it’s become a cult classic, but a part of me believes that it’s also slightly overrated: for all the filmmakers’ good intentions, ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ remains a terrible picture. It can be funny, and it certainly has its moments (the meeting room scene is priceless), but it fails more often than not.

It’s sad to admit that its technical shortcomings could be such a letdown, but that’s because the script isn’t that great either. There are a lot of terrific ideas (ex: the spoof elements, the squad that Dixon assembles, the social commentary, and even the means by which the tomatoes are defeated – which was later ripped off by Tim Burton), but they aren’t fleshed out adequately.

So this leaves us with an amateurish-looking film. How much of that is due to a starving production budget and how much to the filmmakers’ lack of skill, I couldn’t say. Still, even the lackluster comic performances could have been massively improved with different camera angles and a little editing. Basically, one has to be forgiving to enjoy the picture.

…or under the influence of massive amounts of sugar, or some sort of hallucinogen (Attack of the Killer Mushrooms? Why not?).

I would be loath to say that the filmmakers were incompetent; they may very well have been working with tons of limitations. Fact is that they were clever enough to turn some misfortunes into opportunities – for example, with the helicopter crash sequences, which was entirely unplanned. Without a little quick thinking, this incident could have killed the production. Instead, it became a movie highlight.

So, from an objective standpoint, it’s not an abject failure. But it’s not an effortlessly enjoyable watch, either, and I doubt that many would appreciate it in its entirety. I myself enjoy a lot of moments, even as I cringe during others. I might even feel both during the same sequence: case-in-point, the military attacks in the third act, which are impressively put together (all things considered), but are marred by a horrible musical number.

Yes, a musical number. Well, what did you expect from a movie with killer tomatoes in it?

Let’s face it: ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ is utter nonsense. That is a fact. Whether one considers it rubbish is another matter altogether. People who hate spoofs, low budget films and/or “bad” movies will no doubt howl in agony while the rest howl with laughter. This is merely a matter of taste, of course, a case of “tomayto vs tomahto”.

But it’s the same fruit no matter how one cuts it.

Story: 7.0
Acting: 4.0
Production: 4.0

Chills: 1.0
Gore: tomato
Violence: 3.0

Date of viewing: September 15, 2013