Freezer Burn: The Invasion of Laxdale

Synopsis: In the small town of Laxdale, former pro hockey player Bill Swanson and local waitress Gina Larson believe that some mysterious crop circles are connected to a group of “foreign investors” who have purchased the local granary. When a dead body turns up and it’s not human, Bill and Gina discover that these “off-worlders” are time-share developers who are planning to turn the Earth into a Club Med for aliens. The duo must find a way to stop them before all humankind ends up working for minimum wage in the hospitality industry.

Freezer Burn: The Invasion of Laxdale 3.5

Boy… this sci-fi comedy had no script, very few exciting sci-fi moments, and very little laughs (I think I chuckled once or twice). What a bad production. Aside from my total boredom, there’s not much of note.

Oh yes, before I erase this movie from my memory banks forever…

The lead actress, Sarain Boylan… her screen presence was akin to the train wreck that was Shelley Duvall back in the ’70s; you can’t take your eyes off her – but for all the wrong reasons!!! With all due respect to her passable acting skills, she looked like some tall, skinny dude was trying to pass himself off as a trashy Sandra Bullock (no joke!). To each’s own… but, for me, this was rather unpleasant.

Anyway, it’s a shame that Tom Green’s career has gone so far south, ’cause I was always curious to see hat he was up to, good (Road Trip, Stealing Harvard) or bad (Freddy Got Fingered, Bob the Builder). But now it really, really hurts – and I don’t know if I can take it anymore.

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