Synopsis: Tadanobu Asano and Show Aikawa star as fulltime slackers and wannabe ju-jitsu champions who bring the body of their murdered boss to Tokyo’s towering toxic waste dump known as “Black Fuji.” But when an army of the undead rises from the massive trash peak, these bonehead buddies must survive a non-stop onslaught of histy decapitations, pervert teachers, tasty snack foods, stormy romance and zombie professional wrestling. Can even the most devoted of friendships survive an apocalypse of the undead? Horror manga legend Kazuo Umezu co-stars in this wild comedy written and directed by Sakichi Sato – and based on the best-selling manga by U-Saku Hanakuma – that fans call “the Japanese Shaun Of The Dead!”
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Tôkyô zonbi 5.25

eyelights: The dorky leads
eyesores: The unexciting script

There’s not much to say about this one.

I was amused in the beginning, watching these two dorks practicing jujitsu ineptly while the world is falling apart around them. There’s just something about utter morons having simple fun while everyone else is in a state of panic.

But this grew tired fast.

The two leads weren’t at all interesting, both being extremely superficial cartoon characters, and their moronic charm only lasted so long. After a while, it got to be annoying to see just how utterly stupid they could be; it’s astounding that they can even get by in life, clueless as they are.

Their only redeeming quality is entirely cosmetic, and it’s their hair. Nothing amused me more than seeing how goofy-looking a big-@$$ afro looks on a thin Japanese man. The other guy, meanwhile, looked like a real douche, what with his balding pate, but at least the contrast worked.

Otherwise, the film is pointless. Their journey from North to South (and not the reverse, as they originally planned), is pointless, emotionally barren and short on laughs. And the rest of the film, which takes place during a post-zombie apocalypse where the rich use the poor as entertainment, was tedious to say the least.

Honestly, I found this film lacking in everything, from the gags to the action to the performances to the pacing to the script. And it doesn’t help that it’s an über low-budget picture, either, because those only survive their inherent limitations by being innovative or exceptionally entertaining. Alas, this film doesn’t seem to do anything right.

Sigh… if only this were the Japanese ‘Shaun of the Dead’ (as it’s being marketed). Now that would have been something.

Story: 7.0
Acting: 7.0
Production: 4.5

Chills: 5.0
Gore: 5.0
Violence: 5.0

Date of viewing: September 21, 2012